The cracks in the glorious sheen of my honeymoon love affair with Bali have begun to fracture outwards to create a more dynamic full spectrum lens of realism. Tonight I walked in the rain and passed two small boys sleeping on the ground under the awning of a convenience store, wrapped around each other’s tiny bodies, covered in cardboard boxes. Oh, my heart.
As a sensitive human who prefers touch only by invitation, with people i resonate with on many levels, I have always been resistant to the concept of sweaty strange bodies in a room, rubbing all over each other. Tonight I decided to push my boundary and go to a contact improv dance class. Stickiness ensued…
It’s amazing the first time you really examine your fears around your mortality and the fragility and preciousness of life. I was bitten by a dog 2 weeks ago. Like it or not, i was shaken wide awake by this scare, and feel like i don’t want to waste another minute being afraid of life. Or not taking the chances i need to take. Or not facing my fears.
When I spend long stints of time wandering the world by myself, I often find myself reflecting on the nature of human attraction.
Especially as a woman who enjoys spending time alone, getting hit on becomes a regular experience. I am under no illusion that it’s because I am special by any means. It just happens. Especially if you are even a little bit warm and friendly. The circumstance does, however, make me wonder about this human dance of attraction, and how I am wired differently than this… (and i know i am not alone)
DRIVING. So you think you get your license when you’re 16, and from there it’s all going to be an automatic piece of cake, right?
Not so fast. Here comes a foreign country with backwards roads and backwards rules, and suddenly you’re like a newborn again (for at least a quick minute).
The neatest thing about traveling alone in a foreign country is that it forces you to grow some serious life hacking skills. It forces you to expand. It forces you to handle your shit and deal with circumstances that are inevitably out of your comfort zone.
Life is Art. And beauty comes in so many shapes and forms. I notice that often when I look at people, I almost feel like i am looking at a painting in an art gallery.
Often the things that are stereotypically thought of as “beautiful” don’t attract me or excite my adoration as much as the features that many of us are trained to think of as “things to fix” or “flaws”
Today as we walked the beach near our house in northern California, we came upon a dying young harbor seal, beached high on the sand.
We thought he was dead at first, but as we approached his lifeless, emaciated body, he heaved and his chest pulsed with a heartbeat. I knelt before him, and when he heard me cooing at him, he lifted his weary head to stare at me. Our heads were only feet apart. It is the closest i have ever gotten to one of these magnificent creatures, these sea puppies I love so dearly and have admired from afar.
Nature is a sensuous, adorable, gorgeous Being. She is an Artist. And she nibbles at us in each moment. Small motions of contact, branch on leg, wind on cheek, bird overhead. Taking time to be with her, with full attention, focus and wide eyed awe, is possibly the most important part of each day. It is…
So often these moments of self loathing creep in to try and drag us out of the present. But we must not let them. We must accept every step along our path. Thank goodness for growth. Thank goodness for lessons. Thank goodness for the journey that brought us here. Now.
Because this is the only place worth being. In this moment.